Just the Fax
by Felice Prager
Lotsa Lox Restaurant: Hello. Lotsa Lox Restaurant. Home of the Giant Bagel. How may I help you?
Jennifer: Hi! Is this the restaurant with the giant bagel in the window?
Lotsa Lox Restaurant: Yes, it is. We're the Home of the Giant Bagel.
Jennifer: Can you fax me a menu?
Lotsa Lox Restaurant: Excuse me?
Jennifer: Can you fax me a menu?
Lotsa Lox Restaurant: Oh, fax you a menu!
Jennifer: Well, can you?
Lotsa Lox Restaurant: Sorry, that would be impossible.
Jennifer: Impossible?
Lotsa Lox Restaurant: Yes, impossible.
Jennifer: Why is it impossible?
Lotsa Lox Restaurant: Because we don't have a fax machine.
Jennifer: You don't have a fax machine?
Lotsa Lox Restaurant: That's what I said.
Jennifer: How can you not have a fax machine?
Lotsa Lox Restaurant: We just don't.
Jennifer: Everyone has a fax machine.
Lotsa Lox Restaurant: Apparently that's not true.
Jennifer: Excuse me?
Lotsa Lox Restaurant: I said, "Apparently, that's not true."
Jennifer: Why not?
Lotsa Lox Restaurant: Because we don't have one.
Jennifer: Why not?
Lotsa Lox Restaurant: Because we don't need one.
Jennifer: Everyone needs one.
Lotsa Lox Restaurant: We don't.
Jennifer: Well, you apparently do.
Lotsa Lox Restaurant: No, we don't.
Jennifer: Yes, you do.
Lotsa Lox Restaurant: Why do you say that?
Jennifer: Because if you had one, you could fax me a menu.
Lotsa Lox Restaurant: Well, next time you're here, you can pick up a menu.
Jennifer: Can you have your delivery boy drop one off?
Lotsa Lox Restaurant: Sorry.
Jennifer: Sorry?
Lotsa Lox Restaurant: Yeah, we can't have our delivery boy drop one off.
Jennifer: Why not?
Lotsa Lox Restaurant: Because we don't have a delivery boy.
Jennifer: Why not?
Lotsa Lox Restaurant: Because we don't deliver.
Jennifer: You don't deliver?
Lotsa Lox Restaurant: That's what I said.
Jennifer: Why not?
Lotsa Lox Restaurant: Because we don't.
Jennifer: You should.
Lotsa Lox Restaurant: Oh, yeah?
Jennifer: Yeah. How can you make any money if you don't deliver?
Lotsa Lox Restaurant: We make lots of money.
Jennifer: How?
Lotsa Lox Restaurant: People come HERE to eat.
Jennifer: Excuse me?
Lotsa Lox Restaurant: People come here to eat.
Jennifer: They do?
Lotsa Lox Restaurant: Yes, they do.
Jennifer: Why?
Lotsa Lox Restaurant: Maybe because we don't deliver.
Jennifer: I guess that makes sense.
Lotsa Lox Restaurant: It does to me.
Jennifer: No fax. No delivery. The next thing you'll tell me is you need reservations.
Lotsa Lox Restaurant: Normally.
Jennifer: I don't know how places like yours can stay open.
Lotsa Lox Restaurant: We've been here for fifteen years.
Jennifer: No kidding.
Lotsa Lox Restaurant: No kidding. We've been in business for fifteen years.
Jennifer: My boss wants a bagel for lunch.
Lotsa Lox Restaurant: You can come pick one up.
Jennifer: He also wants me to be here to answer his phone.
Lotsa Lox Restaurant: I'm sorry I can't help you.
Jennifer: He's gonna be mad if I leave the phones. He might even fire me.
Lotsa Lox Restaurant: I can't help you.
Jennifer: Hey, are you hiring?
Lotsa Lox Restaurant: Hiring?
Jennifer: Yeah. A girl has to think ahead. I think I'd like to work for you. Do you have any openings?
Lotsa Lox Restaurant: We're always looking for people willing to work hard.
Jennifer: Well that's me!
Lotsa Lox Restaurant: Come on by then and pick up an application.
Jennifer: I can't do that. My boss wants me to answer the phone.
Lotsa Lox Restaurant: You can stop by after work.
Jennifer: Hey, I have a better idea.
Lotsa Lox Restaurant: What's that?
Jennifer: Can you fax me an application!
